Dedicated to myself, cuz we've come along way '97 O.C., bumping Stronjay '95 Iceland, Cold World Hustlers '93 Had my Lyricists Lounge tape bumping Breaking hearts, had dads talking about "Hard day, Pumpkin?" And those were just the dudes I was serving on the mic, it was nothing Had these girls acting suicidal "Scott's Girlfriend"... Y'all ain't never gonna get that title I was banging broads just to limit the casualties Girls find out you got good dick they call the Calvary I mean apparently, right? Suckas mad like, How dare I live up to the hype And they say, I spit a clean 16 But really I'm just trying to live up to that kid's dreams So I made me a beat And then I wrote this rap, Dedicated to Me So many great friends along the way If I named half of them it would take all day From the OUDs to the BBCs We had cassettes for $5 before we slanged CDs Before that we was running from SFPD I had a bag full of Black, White, Red, Blue, Green Cans, Crazy about graff, Write my name on anything Arrested half a dozen times before I turned 17 Drove my parents out of they mind They drove me out both of their houses that was fine Because without the East Bay I might have never got started In this Hip Hop shit, and so I hold it close to heart And they say, I spit a clean 16 But really I'm just trying to live up to that kid's dreams So I made me a beat And then I wrote this rap, Dedicated to Me That's it That's all Goodnight

In the lab I post up Pattering the slaps like i'm 'posed to Surrounded by posters of beauty Documented evidence of handling the booty In the midst of vanity I get moody Never suffering calamities, commanding my duties Truly in the lab I dwell Editing your medicine, flab I sell Southern belles in the lab, I chill with Pacific belles cuz they're just as big In the lab kicking back If the game's on, don't waste time, I ain't gon' hit you back And when that post game over Hella faded, Hella-hella over In the lab I lay down vocals Melbourne Australia to Orangevale Cali I get local I get in it to win I study in the lab, Doing research on double chins Badda boom Badda bing Women so hot we gotta double up they Oxygyn That's hotter than blue flames Belly button where her boobs hang Hanging in the lab my persona Every wall draped in my persona In the lab I admire Sizes from all over the planet I'd be honored to acquire In the lab I plan it out World wide trips to leave the planet proud In the lab I film The finest women on Planet Earth ever to let they girth spill And when it's all said and done I don't split In the lab I sleep but only for a bit

You shutting the fuck up's like throwing a no-hitter in St. Louis You're 'bout to meet "My Left Foot" Daniel Day-Lewis (Yo, yo, yo) I'm still trying to figure this out At DMV your ID said you identify as a Mouth You're like a fucking broken Alexa The love child of twelve secretaries trying to raise a detective You info on more people than a Chinese phonebook Out of nowhere you'll be like "Oh yeah, I know Heidi Holbrook" Somethings are better left unsaid Like literally every thought in your fucking head So spin the Wheel of Fortune, double down and Press Your Luck Craig what does he win? "He gets to Shut the Fuck Up" You talk too much, That's No Bueno Every time you start, I just gotta say no You talk too much, That's No Good People like you, never make it out the hood I'm falling asleep as I write this, I be snoring through your stories There's four Mormon women in Utah talking about pottery that think you're boring I don't even wanna hear you say Good Morning You keep talking they're gonna find your dead body next to I-5 in Corning Tire-uh-taka-hah, That's what the fuck you sound like Motherfuck your monologues you need to speak in soundbytes And don't be coming around mine, it's just a bunch of dudes talking sports Don't nobody wanna hear your story about how you bought some shorts And you'd be doing better in life if you use way less Goddamn words Talking yourself out of money that you would have made, That's ubsurd "What about if I'm tall, dark, and handsome?" Not tonight (Not tonight) Motherfucker be talking about Ugly People Be Quiet Motherfucker be talking about Ugly People Be Quiet (Uggo) Motherfucker be talking about Ugly People Be Quiet You talk too much, That's No Bueno (That's No Good) Every time you start (Don't start), I just gotta say no (I'm saying no) You talk too much, That's No Good (That's No Bueno) People like you, never make it out the hood That's on behalf of the whole crew Salvador Steven Jack Gaddy Dick Swift My Phone And Cinnamon Yeah, yo That episode was brought to you by the letters N, O, and the Number Zero

I need to eat, I need a beat With a pen I penetrate the mental state of the weak Rappers nowadays got a stage mom fleet Here's a trophy, "Geek of the Week" Dweebs in the Bay going dumb Tweedle Dee on the mic, Tweedle Dum on the drum And it goes, Rappers are Ca-ca I be madder than a cracker who daughter dating Serge Ibaka Japanese say "Baka" One for the money, Two for the Sho Tanaka And it just don't stoppa Scott Winter they call me the Doctor A.k.a. Bobby Binaca A.k.a. Hiromu Hidaka A.k.a. Midabu Midaju A.k.a. The Late Larry Goo West Coast Cali, We fit to rally Back to the future, Word to Hill Valley Rappers need to get up off my tallywacker Your album cover couldn't look any tackier The font looks retarded, The colors don't match Probably can't afford to buy a cover cuz you're trash Do not put it on my shelf It looks like you made it your goddamn self With no art credentials I be dunking on a brother like a donut from Winchell's Eventually they'll hop off my gonads Scott Michael Winter also known as Malcolm J'Michael Schlabotsky A.k.a. Francesco L'Roxxy A.k.a. Big Barry Boom A.k.a. The Late Larry Goo

You're fucking with the wrong goddamn orphen With extraterrestrial endorphins Time traveling, Performing abortions In regards to rap, Harder than a concrete contortionist I portion out the potion with a metric known as bars Metamorphizing fantasia, Grazing on the farm A man of arms, Benatar, Hit me with your best I'll leave you involuntarily planking on your chest Thank me for the rest, Stanky dank up in the vest Doublewide Supersize Dime pouring out the dress They say that youth isn't always wasted on the young Perverted, Well versed, Based & I'm well hung And I've been anointed in the past, Apathetic Haters can't stand my happy ass, Empathetic I mean, I get it, I'd feel the same way Midnight Cinderfella, Call Me Dana Dane Feederism Patron, I slang weight Pimping a Chinese Trans Girl named Lang Lang '88 Red Hyundai, Bang bang Ricky fall down, Ricky never ever breathe again Boyz N Tha Hood making Noize N Tha Bay Noize N Tha Bay Noize N Tha Bay

I Chuck the D like Carl Ryder, My (fl)uzi weighs a ton Two Chins Are Better Than One She looking like Glenny Milstead in drag when she cums, cuz... Two Chins Are Better Than One Booty like a Datsun, Hot as Summer sun, cuz... Two Chins Are Better Than One Made a brother wanna dance like I'm fit to cut a rug, cuz... Two Chins Are Better Than One Feederism with your cousin Big Emily Chung, cuz... Two Chins Are Better Than One Neck fat had the Mack beating cat like a drum, cuz... Two Chins Are Better Than One Word is she might add a third, never done cuz... Two Chins Are Better Than One Guinness Book Record like a 12-foot dunk, cuz... Two Chins Are Better Than One Fans worldwide send her hella E-funds, cuz... Two Chins Are Better Than One Lard scarf be tugging on my heart and I love it, cuz... Two Chins Are Better Than One Chunky chicken with the North chest chub, yo check it, brother Two Chins Are Better Than One Put nothing above it or you committed a flub, blood Two Chins Are Better Than One That's why it's wise to televise it when my tubby lover grub, cuz... Two Chins Are Better Than One Yo, the leader of the tribe like Attila the hun Jaw like a jug, Hit her with the head hug Her neck flap be dragging to the ground on her Lugs Two Chins Are Better Than One She dip the camera at an angle cuz she knows that Daddy loves it, cuz... Two Chins Are Better Than One And baby bullet proof, Double chin down to her lungs, cuz... Two Chins Are Better Than One Made a brother leave his wallet on purpose in El Segundo Two Chins Are Better Than One, oh Word is bond, I'mma have to learn to speak Hmong, cuz... Two Chins Are Better Than One You can have my portion, I will starve like a Monk Bang the broad 'til she sweat enough to turn dirt to mud She can barely turn her neck, it make a brother wanna nut, cuz... Two Chins Are Better Than One And I don't care if she a porn star or a nun If there's a reason it ain't hot, then I couldn't think of none All night a brother pump cuz a brother ain't a punk Blood, Two Chins Are Better Than One Happy fighting in the pub, I don't do it for the pub Sinking my teeth in her neck like a plum Intoxicating like rum, and better than her rump, blood Two Chins Are Better Than One It'll make a golf prodigy put away his friggin' club Two Chins Are Better Than One To chase it down, that'll make Jimmy Brooks run Two Chins Are Better Than One That's it, I'm done

Fuck a alibi Fuck a alibi, She already know I'm lying I'm still lying if she sitting there fucking crying I crunch down on these hoes like they Tempura I got these snakes on my back, Jesse Ventura I tell her, Baby that's a hammer, Be cool where you grab it She keep on asking how I shoot it if it's made of plastic Put the weed out roll another one cuz I'm an addict She don't smoke but do you smell this shit all in her fabric? She jumped out ghetto twerking like the bitches duty I jumped out pouring Hennesee on the bitches booty She got her hand out, expecting something from me I hand that bitch a eulogy, It's dead up on the money Something like that I crunch down on these hoes like they Tempura I crunch down on these hoes like they Tempura I got these snakes on my back, Jesse Ventura I crunch down on these hoes like they Tempura I crunch down on these hoes like they Tempura I crunch down on these hoes like they Tempura I crunch down on these hoes like they Tempura I crunch How that shit sound? That's one right there Check it My name's Scott Winter, still I'm very colder My plug got more base ["bass"] than a young Terry Boulder (brother) Pill-ed up on the couch, Test Martin (Andrew) Pimp my bunkmate out for a fresh carton Ain't talking LPs when I say release date Banging a broad looking like Big Cutie Cheesecake Fuck these rappers that need 70 takes I got the baby oil slapping ebony cakes And I don't give a fuck about the model or make But if you're still paying on the shit, Fucker you're fake I crunch down on these hoes like they Tempura I crunch down on these hoes like they Tempura I got these snakes on my back, Jesse Ventura I crunch down on these hoes like they Tempura I crunch down on these hoes like they Tempura I crunch down on these hoes like they Tempura I crunch down on these hoes like they Tempura I crunch How that shit sound? That's one right there

My man Swift took up Pimping as a new hobby, My man Macking in the lobby (Ay, say it louder for the folks in the back) My man Swift took up Pimping as a new hobby, My man Macking in the lobby Yeah, you go boy Pull up-Pull up in a 'Lac Yeah, you go boy Pull up-Pull up in a 'Lac Yeah, you go boy Pull-Pull-Pull up in a 'Lac Yeah, you go boy Pop the trunk for the strap Yeah, you go boy That's what it do, It's all on a bitch like the New Dick Swift 2022 That's what it do, That's what it do, Dick Swift 2022 New hobby (Your broad choosing) There's a new hobby (Tina and Susan) New-new hobby (And-and-and that other broad) ALL THE HOES PROPERTY OF THE MAC GOD SWIFT That's what it do, It's all on a bitch like the New Dick Swift 2022 That's what it do, That's what it do, Dick Swift 2022 Go and get with Dick Swift when he's mid-motion Dick Swift with a sick potion Not the size of the boat? Bitch you lying Dick Swift, Straight steady flying Brian Pillman when I kill men Syndrome Motherfuckers talking shit and asking when Gim's home B'wait, been here for years mo-fo Talking all this shit, I kill in slo-mo Motherfucker I'm Slomo and Harpo Marx Motherfucker talking shit I kill you after dark Looking like I'm watching motherfucking Rhonda Rose Oh, not Rhonda Rose That fat-fat-fat-fat titty bitch on USA Up All Night ("Rhonda Shear") Rhonda Shears, you been spanking my meat for years to that bitch Switch gears You motherfuckers can't get with the way that I keep it clear Crystal clear, I'm debonair I'm over here What, where, Over here What, where, Over here What, where, Over here now Over here now Thank God I ain't got no kids Thank God I ain't got no kids But I raised a bunch But I raised a bunch Motherfuckers talking shit I got that punch I pack a punch I'm H-H-H-Hawaiian Punch Watch them commercials You worthless fools looking like Urkles do What the fuck you finna do Finna do Finna do Finna do What the fuck you Finna do Why am I singing Finna do

Yo, apparently not Yo, apparently not Yo, apparently not Tramadol popper, Top-rope Jaw Dropper Clips-4-Sale chart topper Scott the Doctor, a.k.a. Mike McCaw A.k.a. Buddy Wrench a.k.a. Bob Loblaw (Not Blah blah blah) A.k.a. Rob Raw #22 Like I'm Rod Higgins Jr. Ay yo, Girl in the motor scooter, pick a better spooner You can't, That's why you're damp Rappers can not overstand my camp The girl dates jailbirds because the girl is a tramp (slut) I'm on the corner of 4th & Felon Doing lunch with your guardians, Eating casaba melons Your mama rock a Jew nose like Yentl Kinda raunchy, I told that broad to be gentle Storytelling in the rental I'm out in Tokyo with a leather jacket like I'm SB KENTo (Z-Brats) Sexy Boy (Z-Brats) Strictly Business (Z-Brats) Spine Buster to you Simple Bitches (Z-Brats) Cyber cutter with the pineapple bomber My name in your mouth, Jeffrey Dahmer Tramadol popper, Top-rope Jaw Dropper Clips-4-Sale chart topper Scott the Doctor, a.k.a. Larry Goo A.k.a. Big Jack Rocker #2 Multiple titles like Arai Kenichiro Frisco Scarface, Meet me at the beach for blow P-p-p-perks, Flavors like starburst Way back when Geechie Guy was grabbing the mic on Star Search I fornicate 'til my nards hurt Russian Fart Porn, Fat girl in the short shorts I'm so horny off the whole thing And I try to stay away from broads who say stuff like "Cool beans" (Cool beans?) Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter (Ewwwww) That ain't my bag, I ain't crushing on your daughter (No) Tramadol popper, Top-rope Jaw Dropper Clips-4-Sale chart topper, The Scott Doctor A.k.a. Jimmy Suzuki A.k.a. Goto Takayuki Takayuki Goto to the Western World All up on the beat like a seat belt on a chesty girl No intermission, No need to rest for now Chilling like Chesimard, Flexing in my nest like "Wow" Women treat me so polite (Right, Right?) But only when I dress fly (Right!) Don't think I don't notice that shit And I don't hit on 'em back cuz I be stuck on a bitch (I love her, I miss her) Ain't that a bitch, I'm lying through my teeth I've never made your baby mama queef Damn I lied again (My apologies) Maybe I should go to bed (Or not) The Tramadol popper, Top-rope Jaw Dropper Clips-4-Sale chart topper Scott the Doctor Motherfucker

Yeah baby You gotta stop calling me You gotta stop calling me Cuz we're through We're through You gotta put the phone down Miss me with the voice mail You gotta miss me with the voice mail Cuz I ain't trying to hear you no more You gotta stop calling me You gotta stop calling me Cuz we're through We're through

Too many people out there taking umbrage with my happiness What's the matter bucko, Didn't get high enough off of the cannabis You salty faux journalists be playing the thespian, Y'all never heard of us? Talking that talk about how we're soft, until you get mopped, and then we're all murderous Make up your mind B, I write up the rhyme then I shit on your function I'd eat up the Gavin as if it's my luncheon, Peep the way that I heat up the junction Harder than tungsten, A youngster gone hella savage Cracking the melon on wannabe felons acting melodramatic Hell with it, I've had it up to here with you fucking queers You're talking tough but ain't got the nuts to even sucker punch one of my fucking peers So listen up bitch, I'm taking the piss and pitching a fit I hope you die slow in a car fire you fucking bitch

The Born Again Bastard, Pastor charging churches, Feeling worthless Permanently plastered Being lost is just something that I've mastered Call your line of defense because nothing else matters Final chance to connect, Grab your (?????) Leftover Summer seasons to suffer That Jesus flex, Vexed off of uppers Much more advanced than the other motherfuckers Some people thrive, Some take dives Some (?????) (????????) Richard Swift, once again on some dumb shit Coaching kids, Shouts out to Dick Butkus (????????) Cuz the hipster shit has got me jaded (????) Lesser (????) Jesters Festered in between Coke & Gunplay Curly mustaches, sidewinding unicycles riding wrong way on a one-way while faded (????????) Crime of it's own, Bitch I know you hate it (????) Backflip (????) Infected smile, bad teeth, and why the fuck ain't I famous I'm lonely and I hate it I'm ashamed I masturbated Not ashamed of all this hatred Black polish, my nails are painted Your girl looking where my chain is Stick my balls inside her anus Stick my balls inside her anus (????) (????) My friends mothers never liked me Mi amigos outside, When I was in I knew they'd never write me Off my head you just a thought Feet on ground just like mop Ask my name just like a cop You a lolly, you get popped I don't need your friendship If I got a thirst I quench it I don't even have to mention My imminent distain for the tension Praising the Lord like Big Al Horford Cuz I'm sick of looking up at the scoreboard Managing the game like Jeff Torborg But I feel like kicking down the door, Waving the .44

Caution 432 Volts Washington Bullets & Baltimore Colts Yeaoh, Too Damn Vein Prayer with the late Rollerboy Corey Haim Zippers of the gooey Hookers on the block looking like Baba Booey Les Schwab rubber, Less than a bargain More money, more green grass in my garden Roosevelt popcorn, Super 8 telly She was more than able with the double apron belly Cut the cable, Shaking on my dreidel Very big "Big Dipper", Diamonds on my ladle Cats in the cradle, Dogs in the oven Ate too much lunch, that's word to my muffin Candlestick pop-up, harder than a boner Ernie Riles with the #10-G homer Home Alone with the Time Magazine bar code Killed her in Colusa, Buried her in Barstow Scottish with the kilt White without the guilt Urban with the voice in my head, Full tilt Split Pea Soup Green Tea, Teriyaki, Timberland boots UPS, FedEx, A pony out of Lubbock Tate's dad, Ralph Barbieri, Razor Ruddock I don't give a fu-ddick Very mad right now Obviously very upset I think my handlers need to provide me with more Green M&M's They call it the Green Room But I'm looking at a bag full of Yellow M&M's (Excuse me, Excuse me) Unbelievable And these fucking Jolly Ranchers No Cherry, No Watermelon (The fuck city am I in?) Maybe one Green Apple (The fuck city am I in?) Very upset Very upset These disinfecting wipes are not Clorox This ain't the "Kills 99.9% of Viruses and Bacteria" type of wipes These are for like, you know, disabled girls who can't reach themselves with... Ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, ay, that's fine (Hubba hubba) That's fine I like that I'm an advocate (Hubba hubba) I'm an advocate I'm like, Yo I had to hit Hands up in the air like "Yeah, I did it" Fuck, they caught me red-handed Blood under my fingernails This shit is turning brown The M&M's are Brown The fucking Jolly Ranchers are goddamn fucking Blueberry They're Blueberry Jolly Ranchers I'm not out here trying to drink Lean Do I look lean to you? You hear this chair creaking? The chair don't creak for Slim Jenkins You know wha' I'm saying? The chair don't creak for fucking Thin Belly Watkins You know wha' I'm saying?

Two circumcised cocks Three circumcised cocks Four circumcised cocks Dick Swift, on the block, non-stop Hitting 'em with a Three Point Shot Out the fucking lane Put you to blame Born into the game Been here for years and ain't nothing fucking changed You look deranged And yet the same Y'all motherfuckers think you fresh tho Y'all motherfuckers think you fresh tho Mess with me when I wear a trench coat High school motherfucking drop out Motherfucking cop out Motherfucking cop out One punch knock out One punch knock out Mike Tyson Contra Code Mike Tyson Contra Code Mike Tyson Contra Code Mike Tyson Contra Code Mike Tyson Contra Code I got the Double A, Double B, Start, Select Mic check Catch wreck with a mitt, Like a Catcher Like a Catcher, Like I changed my name to Steven Fletcher Changed my name to Bradley LaRue Bradley LaRue a.k.a. Larry Goo I don't want a broad with a gastric sleeve, Tell her to leave Ugh God, That's my pet peeve (Scott Fucking Winter) Mike Tyson Contra Code Mike Tyson Contra Code Mike Tyson Contra Code Mike Tyson Contra What the fuck that mean That's two different games, Two different companies Stops trying to front on me Did you know, You can't punk on me Motherfuckers talking shit, You got assumptions see You can go ahead and say what you want tho But I'll stomp your face, Scalp you, Tonto Pronto, CRU Motherfuckers don't know what the fuck to do When I be coming up here on the fucking bus 92 Old School 92 Old School 92 Old School 92 Old School Foothill Boulevard turned Hesperian Motherfuckers turned into Pescatarians They don't wanna quite be Ambidextrous They don't wanna be quite Vegetarian But I'm out there Doing this bizz tho Motherfuckers talking shit, What the fuck it is tho? Dick Swift make your motherfucking head spin hoe Because I been thrown On that motherfucking shit you talking 'bout Hit you right in the motherfucker square in the mouth I'm not one to punch a motherfucker normally But when I do I wear a nice suit formally And then I inform MCs That this is what's happening, Listen close, this is important see I got some heavyset white kids walking by me

Pulled up on baby with the ol' Badda Boom Badda Bing Onlookers talking about if he's a God or a King It'll have your uncle in the garage trying to create a time machine so he could kidnap young me and commit sodomy But that fruity motherfucker look so much like a broad that I could probably convince myself that... "No Scott, that's just wrong" You can't rape the willing, and I can't fight the feeling so... Naw, fuck that,. I'mma throw 2Gs on this ball game, take Villanova Rapscallion, Rapatastic Maybe I need to keep it less drastic I'm talking shit, and then I drop the shit Fiberoptic shit You finna do that? Please I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about Just walking 'bout Just walking 'bout